L’AMOUR DONNE N’EST JAMAIS VAIN

L’AMOUR DONNE N’EST JAMAIS VAIN:by Aulida Valery on Wednesday, January 19, 2011 at 10:32pm, on Facebook.

L’amour donné n’est jamais vain !

D’une certaine manière c’est le premier grain d’amour que l’on pose sur un échiquier…

  • Une légende affirme que le jeu d’échecs a été inventé par un savant indien. Sissa ben Daher. Quand l’empereur Sheram apprit que l’inventeur était un de sujets, il le fit mander au palais.
  •  Sois remercié pour ce jeu qui égaie le soir de ma vie. Quelle récompense souhaites-tu ?
  •  Eh bien s’impatienta l’empereur parle donc insolent craindrais tu que je ne puisse exaucer ton désir ? Sisssa fut blessé par le ton de Sheram. Il jugea que cela méritait une leçon.
  •  Soit finit-il par dire j’accepte un présent ô souverain !

Et quel est-il ?

  •  Ordonne que me soit remis un grain de riz pour la première case de l’échiquier.
  •  C’est tout ? Te moquerais tu de moi chien galeux ? !
  •  Non sire ordonnez ensuite que me soit remis 2 grains de riz pour la 2ème case puis 4 pour la 3 ème 8 pour la 4ème , 16 pour la 5ème et ainsi de suite jusqu’à la 64 ème case en doublant le nombre de grains à chaque fois.
  • L’empereur se sentit piqué au vif.
  •  Tu me montres bien peu de respect en honorant si mal ma générosité. Tant pis pour toi ! Va t’en mon intendant te fera porter demain ton sac de riz.
  • Le lendemain à l’aube l’empereur fut réveillé par l’intendant. Celui ci semblait terrifié.
  • Sire, sire nous ne pouvons livrer le riz !
  •  Que me chantes tu là Barbapoux ? Serait tu devenu fou ! L’intendant tremblait de tous ses membres.
  • Sire vos mathématiciens ont travaillé toute la nuit. Leur conclusion est que votre royaume ne contient pas assez de riz pour exaucer le voeu de Sissa.
  •  Mais enfin, quel est ce nombre si grand qui naît d’un petit échiquier ?
  • Dix huit quadrillons quatre cent quarante six trillons sept cent quarante quatre billions soixante treize milliards sept cent neuf [ 18 446 744 073 709 551 616 = 2ˆ64  (2 puissance 64)]

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Note réflexion :

  • Cette réflexion me semble très juste : « De ce qu’ils donnent à leurs enfants, les parents ne doivent attendre aucun retour. Ils peuvent être assurés néanmoins, que leurs enfants le donneront à leurs propres enfants…« 
  • Tous ces moments d’amour et d’intimité que le parent partage avec son enfant et qui sont aussi d’une certaine manière des moments de solitude. Tous ces moments, en apparence perdus puisque passés, se reproduiront inéluctablement dans la génération suivante, puis dans celle d’après et ainsi de suite jusqu’à la fin de l’histoire. L’émotion m’emporte quand je prends le temps de me le représenter.
  • N’est-ce pas là la loi de l’amour ? L’amour donné et que l’on pourrait croire perdu est voué à être transmis de génération en génération. Ce que l’on croit donner à un être, c’est en fait à des milliers d’êtres qu’on le donne. Une belle image également pour tous les amateurs de développement durable : l’amour, la seule énergie qu’il est impossible de gaspiller.

 Source : http://www.cheztom.com/amour-la-loi-de-l-amour-conte-riz-echiquier-article332.html

ESTABLISHING FRIENDSHIPS by Aulida Valery

From: Aulida Valery, Nun’s Island, April 29th, 2011

To : All my Facebook Friends, Twitter Friends, LinkedIn Professionals Contacts, Friends of Friends and Everyone

Introduction:

Let’s me clear with you this morning! Let’s clarify this word [FRIENDSHIP], last year [2010] we were focusing on [LOVE], and now I see so many distraction around, people didn’t understand [THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP].  But, let’s them learn, taking time and one day they will discover what they missed for the last 5, 10, 20 years by misunderstood [THE SECRET OF SECRET OF FRIENDSHIP].

We are not here to change anyone of you.  We don’t re-create nothing, we will just share what we have been learned in the past and what we believe in Friendship.

 Part One: Citations:

  • A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you’ve been, accepts who you’re become, and still gently invite you to grow. ».-Author Unknown
  • Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends. ».-Cindy Lew

Part Two : From book Health, The Basics, Fourth Canadian Edition, Rebecca J. Donatelle, Anne Johnson Munroe, Alex Munroe, Angela M. Thompson.

Although most of us have a fairly clear idea of the distinction between a friend and a lover, this difference is not a always easy to verbalize.  Some people believe that the major difference is that there is no intimate physical involvement between friends.  Others have suggested that intimacy levels are much lower between friends than between lovers.  But, as we have stated, people can be intimate with each other without being sexually involved.  Confused?

You probably not alone.  Surprisingly, there has not been a great deal of research to clarify these terms.  Beyond the fact that two people participate in a relationship as equals, friendships include the following characteristics.

  1. Enjoyment. Friends enjoy each other’s company, although there may be temporary states of anger, disappointment, or mutual annoyance.
  2. Acceptance. Friends accept each other as they are, without trying to change the other person;
  3. Trust. Friends have mutual trust in the sense that each assumes that the other will act in his or her friend’s best interests.
  4. Respect. Friends respect each other in the sense that each assumes that the other exercises good judgment in making life choices.
  5. Mutual assistance. Friends are inclined to assist and support one another.  They can count on each other in times of need, trouble, or personal distress, as well as in positive times, worthy of celebration.
  6. Confiding.  Friends share experiences and feelings with each other that they don’t share with other people.
  7. Understanding. Friends have a sense of what is important to each other and why each person behaves as he or shes does.  Friends are usually not puzzled or mystified by each other’s actions.
  8. Spontaneity.  Friends feel free to be themselves in the relationship rather play a role, wear a mask, or refrain from revealing their true self.

Part Three: Information from Wikipedia.org:

  • Friendship is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum. The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.
  • Acquaintance: a friend, but sharing of emotional ties isn’t present. An example would be a coworker with whom you enjoy eating lunch or having coffee, but would not look to for emotional support. Many « friends » that appear on social networking sites are generally acquaintances in real life.
  • Best friend (or the closest friend): A person with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.
  • Family friend: A friendship extended to family members of the friends. Close relation is developed in those societies where family setup is strong. This term usually used in subcontinent.
  • Casual relationship or « friends with benefits »: A sexual or near-sexual and emotional relationship between two people who don’t expect or demand to share a formal romantic relationship. This is also referred to an open relationship or a « hook-up ».
  • Cross-sex friendship: A person having a friend of the opposite sex with having little or no sexual or romantic activity: a male who has a female friend, or a female who has a male friend.
  • Internet relationship: a form of friendship or romance which takes place over the Internet. Some internet friendships evolve into real life friendships. Internet friendships are in similar context to a pen pal. These friendships are also based on the thought that the other person that they may not have ever met in real life knows them for who they are instead of the mask they may use in real life.
  • Open relationship: a relationship, usually between two people, that agree each partner is free to have sexual intercourse with others outside the relationship. When this agreement is made between a married couple, it’s called an « open marriage ».
  • Communal Friendships: A friendship where the friends gather often to provide encouragement and emotional support in times of great need. this type of friendship tends to last only when opposing parties fulfill the expectations of support for the relationship.
  •  Agentic Friendships: A friendship where both parties look toward each other for help in achieving practical goals in their personal and professional life.  These friends help with completing projects, study for and exam, or help a friend move out. These types of friends value sharing time together, but only if there are no other priorities and the friend is actually available to help in the first place. Emotions and sharing of personal information is of no concern to this friend type.

Part IV: Friendship and health

The conventional wisdom is that good friendships enhance an individual’s sense of happiness and overall well-being. But a number of solid studies support the notion that strong social supports improve a woman’s prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, it has been shown that loneliness and lack of social supports are linked to an increased risk of heart disease, viral infections, and cancer as well as higher mortality rates. Two female researchers have even termed friendship networks a « behavioral vaccine » that protects both physical and mental health.

While there is an impressive body of research linking friendship and health status, the precise reasons for this connection are still far from clear. Most of the studies are large prospective studies (that follow people over a period of time) and while there may be a correlation between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still don’t know if there is a cause-and-effect relationship, e.g. that good friendships actually improve health.

There are a number of theories that attempt to explain the link, including that:

1) Good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles;

2) Good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services, when needed;

3) Good friends enhance their friends’ coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and/or

4) Good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.

Be my friend for now and forever and invite your friends of Friends to create a circle of friends around you, make appointment to see them person to person, you never know who have the same Idea than You.  Now is time to celebrate our 120 days of 2011! Enjoy your Week-end! Enjoy your Life! Open your Hearth for Friendship! Open your Mind for Learning!  Peace, Love, Freedom! And become a better YOU.

RELATIONSHIPS

All relationships fall somewhere within the five-floor structure.  The goal is to develop the ability to built relationships at all five levels.  That means developing the traits that define “who we are”, as well as identifying and practicing the actions we need to take.

First Floor Relationships:  Transactional in nature – people who do things for you because it is their job.  Interactions are based on fulfilling a need.

Example: Clerks, service employees, people who help not because of their relationship with you, but because of the nature of their position or job.

Second Floor relationships:  Sharing some personal information, facts. Conversations typically start with news, sports, and weather, and seldom move beyond the superficial or topical.  At works, such relationships are based on positional authority.

Example: Casual relationships and acquaintances, most boss-employee relationship; peers in unrelated departments, people you encounter at parties or functions whom you know casually, but with whom you aren’t truly friends.

Third Floor relationships: Sharing opinions, learning to deal with conflict.  For the most part, however, such relationships are relatively superficial, and kept at arm’s length.

Example: Peers who interact regularly to reach common goals.  You know some details about their personal lives and professional hopes and dreams, but are not asked or invited to give advice or feedback.

 Fourth Floor relationships: Sharing conversation and feelings; ability to work through conflicts; willingness at times to put the other person’s needs ahead of your own.  Conversations consistently move beyond news, sports, and weather.

Example: Mentor, good friends, close colleagues, people you care about in your job, industry, or community.

Penthouse (Fifth Floor) Relationships:  Share values, high level of openness, candor, and vulnerability; focusing on the other person’s needs.

Example: Your closest and most intimate relationships.

[Source: Page 65, It’s Not Just Who You Know, by Tommy Spaulding].- It’s an invitation to get the book and help the author.

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Later this Year 2011, we will take about the nine key traits that can help us to achieve real relationship:

  • Authenticity
  • Humility
  • Empathy
  • Confidentiality
  • Vulnerability
  • Curiosity
  • Generosity
  • Humor
  • Gratitude